Thursday, 24 October 2013

Gone Fishin'

Well not literally obviously I would not know one end of a fishing rod from another.
I wonder who you are. Hundreds and hundreds of people look at my scratchings here every day. Even days and weeks when I abandon you and have a life offline.

I read Edward Snowden's girlfriend's blog. I wonder if she will recover from the pain and the trauma. Really truly loving someone is so fraught with risk. If governments were to risk assess falling in love I am sure it would carry a health warning. But who would trade it, for a moment, that feeling of drowning in another person, of feeling safe and loved and connected. Even if it lasts an hour or a few or an evening or a lifetime. I have met some extraordinary people this week, around doing proper actual work and not just talking about it, with really marginalised kids, Timebanking, ethical investing (not corporate rapists like G4S or Triodos, phoney ethical bank), a pretty mind blowing social entrepreneur, who doesn't realise how amazing and inspiring he is, a change agent who scrum manages huge companies and a polymath.

I'll tell you more. Maybe one day. I know I should write more, not dear diary entries, but proper writing and I hope to get enough of my life back to actually be able to HAVE a life again sometime very soon. Whoever you are, you hundreds and hundreds of you. It's nice to know you are there, maybe you remind me I am here too. Sometimes I log into the terror that is Facebook and the picture of my Dad who died three years ago comes up. It's so chilling and it it still makes my eyes smart.

There are days I wonder if what we leave behind makes any difference.
And there are weeks like this one that remind that all we have is love, really.

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