Thursday, 28 February 2013

Journey to the centre of me

A Buddhist teacher, someone I love sent me this today.  I get glum this time of year. Grey skies and short days feel oppressive. I feel the cold in my bones.  Acts of betrayal by someone I trusted haven't helped. In the midst of sadness rising and Mercury's tripped up messages and the inertia of disappointed dreams there lies a soft still light.

It's been a tough, long winter. Maybe I should take heed of the words below and stop seeking solace outside.  Sadness scares me, we put so much stock in being happy and cheerful, we squeeze out the rituals of resurgence and honouring grieving.  When a friendship dies because boundaries have been crossed and there isn't a thirst for vengeance, there's a void. It is the acceptance of death.

"to shrink the press and urgency of time,  we can linger in the moment and try to accept our death. "

I invite you to make a list of personal examples of things that dishearten you and things that hearten you.

Which is troubling you the most these days?

 And which is bringing you closer to life?

Comparing the two will help you begin a personal practice of how you can return to your center, when confused and in fear.

That we go numb along the way is to be expected. Even the bravest among us, who give their lives to care for others, go numb with fatigue, when the heart can take in no more, when we need time to digest all we meet. Overloaded and overwhelmed, we start to pull back from the world, so we can internalize what the world keeps giving us.

 Perhaps the noblest, private act is the unheralded effort to return: to open our hearts once they've closed, to open our souls once they've shied away, to soften our minds once they've been hardened by the storms of our day. Always, on the inside of our hardness and shyness and numbness is the face of compassion through which we can reclaim our humanity. Our compassion waits there to revive us. Regardless of what we face, few things are as challenging or rewarding as moving from what disheartens us to what heartens us. Choose one thing in the way and begin your journey to your centre.

Choosing to honour the inevitability of humanity and find joy in it anyway.

Follow your inner moonlight,  don't hide the madness~ Allen Ginsberg